Whoa

A weird feeling just came over me. A mixture of sadness, relief, and nostalgia.

I don't have to practice anymore.

The key word, or words, is "have to". I'm not required to sit in a practice room and rehearse over and over until I get the part right. Of course I will, because I want to continue to learn flute repertoire and progress as a flutist. But unless I decide to pursue a performance degree in grad school, which is not something I plan on doing in the next few years, I will no longer feel the pressure of deadlines. No longer have a part under my fingers by a specific time and a specific level. No longer have to study a piece I don't like, play in styles that don't interest me.

I'll miss the lessons. Lisa and Genevieve were amazing teachers, and I'm so glad I chose to come to Montevallo to study under them. But now, I have the challenge of taking the knowledge I've gained from them and applying it to any piece I want to study. And I can choose what I want to play. If I need help, I can always take lessons. But they'll be by choice, not by requirement.

No juries. No recitals. Just playing for playing's sake.

Weird.